Friday, February 07, 2003

Continuing with my rant on crap tv, Does anyone watch The Salon? Do you know of anyone who watches it? Does anyone, in fact, actually watch it? If i wanted to watch people getting their hair cut for 8 hours a day, id go and sit in a fucking barbers. If 'Help, im a celebrity, get me out of here!' was the arse of reality tv, then this must be the diarrhoea soaked y-fronts of bargain basement television. Im just itchin for someone to go in and smack that annoying brazilian fucker, right i the chops. Oh, that would be sweet! Wonder if Vinnie Jones needs a hair cut?

Thursday, February 06, 2003

need any trenches dug gov?
Fresh eruptions in the footie world today. No sooner had Ronaldinho been crowned Colgate footballer of the year than the allegations of vote rigging began. "I can't believe I wasnt even in contention, its a fix!", wailed Alvaro Recoba through a gobful of giant nashers. Bookies had reported large numbers of bets being placed on long shot Luke Chadwick to scoop the award, but in the end it was no suprise the man for with a penchant for girls hair accessories walked away with the golden brush. A spokeperson for Colgate made a statement earlier today; we thoroughly feel that Ronaldinho deserves the award. Not only does he provide a role model for orthodontically challenged kids everywhere, but he maintains the high standards set by our very first Colgate player of the year, the legendary Ian Dowie.

In less important football news, Bobby Pires returns to action for the french squad for the first time in a year. His loss before the world cup was infinitely more damaging to their hopes in the competition than anyone really expected. Watching their stuttering play, they were cryin out for an on form Pires to add a bit of fluidity. But he looks to be nearly back to his very, very best so this can be only good for both Arsenal and France.

News on the golden brush fiasco as we get it.

Tuesday, February 04, 2003

The most excellent 24 began in Ireland last night. For anyone in England youll have to wait another few weeks before it starts on BBC2, and those in the US, well...youve probably seen the entire series by now, so this is old news. Have pity on us backward folk. Good to see in a time when US tv (and English and Irish for that matter) get worse and worse, that they can still put out exceptional piece of television that doesnt require you to have a frontal lobotomy.

Speaking of terrible tv, and i mean so bad you want to get ebola just so your eyeballs will explode, honorary mention must go to The Lyrics board, a truly attrocious piece of televisioning (or some such verb), forced upon the Irish public, presumably as some sort of penance for letting the cranberries lose on the world. The gist is that two teams have to guess the title of a song from one line, which is slowly shown to them, word by word during each round. Not too bad you say? Heres the hurt. To get another guess, they have to sing a song with the just revealed word in its title. Think the worst cabaret music youve ever heard. combined with elevator music. And some Karaoke to boot. It sooooo bad. I mean, Its so bad, Id rather shit razor blades than watch it. The best (worst?) part thoughis the 'celebrities' they get on to play. Maybe im out a touch with the young 'uns these days, but they are all fucking nobodies hoping to shamelessly whore themselves on irish television in the hope of kickstarting the rotting corpe of their career. Bet your just dying to buy tickets now. Looks like theyre growing them celebrities in batches now.

Cack, the dentist!

Ah! I feel much better after a good rant, so onto some footie news. Some bullshit story linking Real midfielder/forward Guti to Arsenal. Bollox I say. And bollox again to the story liking us with the only man capable of eating an apple through a tennis racket, Ronaldinho. I think from now on were gonna be linked with lots of big name players by their agents, cause were now becoming one of the top 3 sides in Europe. And yet do they even notice that Wenger never signs big name players? As the man said himself, the only thing you get with big name players is big wages, and you know thats not his style. Not when he can pick up an Anelka, Henry, Pires, Silva, Toure, Petit, Viera, Overmars, Sol or Aliedaire for relative beer money. money.

Good to see our young german defender Maurice (he musta had it tough growing up) Volz playing and scoring for Wimbledon. Hopefully he can show Wenger that he has what it takes to take over from the Horse when hes finally sent off to the glue factory.

Monday, February 03, 2003

Sorry, Sorry. Havent posted for over the weekend. It was my birthday. Hic.
Im post after lunch, im sure youll all be tetering on the edge of your seats until then.